Personal Pages

The

The Personal Pages are where you'll find everything anchored in reality. There will be heartbreaks, hopelessness and hurt but like the threads holding my life together there will be beautifully joyous moments and they really are worth the wait.

Let's Dive In...

Blonde Ambition.

I was in a vicious cycle. I’d weaned myself off of making myself throw up any morsel that passed my lips, but I had replaced it with not...

calamansourjah

Sep 16, 20204 min read

Memory Lane.

Like the first time that we met, Like the last time that we spoke. Your messy hair and piercing eyes, The love I can’t revoke. I catch...

calamansourjah

Jul 19, 20201 min read

The Mistake.

Look out at the river, Close my eyes. Breathe in deeply, Feel the guilt rise. Who could deny, The joyless laugh. The echo chamber Of a...

calamansourjah

Jul 10, 20201 min read

You Can't Miss A Thing.

Something doesn’t sit right these days, The heavy feeling of a lack of embrace. I don’t know what’s to come for me yet, But somehow I...

calamansourjah

Jun 27, 20201 min read

You Vs Me.

I loved you before I even had the guts And I found you pressed between the pages Of hopelessness and ruts. As that old song told us to...

calamansourjah

Jun 21, 20201 min read

Can't You Hear That Ticking?

Starve for attention, To regain lost control. Starve to recover, To once again feel whole. It’s quiet over here, You could hear a pin...

calamansourjah

Jun 14, 20201 min read

The Last Excuse.

I wasn’t asking for too much Just more than you could provide. I wish I’d seen the ending credits Before the change in tide. The ocean...

calamansourjah

Jun 10, 20201 min read

Burning Bridges Wishing You Were Standing On Them.

There’s something about us I finally understood. I realised it in the moments between The longing and the could. You nestled in between...

calamansourjah

Jun 4, 20201 min read

With Me.

The comfort found in worn out scales, Make me feel like I did as a kid. Four strings always felt like home to me, More than six strings...

calamansourjah

May 31, 20201 min read

New Horizons.

The parts of me I thought I knew, I didn’t until June, So now I dance with solitude when all I want is you. Forget about the summer, when...

calamansourjah

May 30, 20201 min read

We're Heading For A Breakdown, Kids.

My mum has fallen ill. She has a fever and an infection in her leg and has been taken to hospital only 4 weeks before my brother’s...

calamansourjah

May 30, 20203 min read

Expiration Date.

We’re not okay, Haven’t been for weeks. I don’t remember how it feels, To be beneath your sheets. Press my palm against the wall, To try...

calamansourjah

May 26, 20201 min read

I Guess That's Showbiz, Baby.

4am, or thereabouts. I surreptitiously check my phone. The bright screen makes my eyes wince and squint in the darkened room. It’s 4:38,...

calamansourjah

May 25, 20201 min read

Four Years On.

I never planned on getting this far, There was a day etched out to end. But hey look at me now, In the battle of the pretend. It’s been...

Personal Pages

The

Let's Dive In...

Blonde Ambition.

Memory Lane.

The Mistake.

You Can't Miss A Thing.

You Vs Me.

Can't You Hear That Ticking?

The Last Excuse.

Burning Bridges Wishing You Were Standing On Them.

With Me.

New Horizons.

We're Heading For A Breakdown, Kids.

Expiration Date.

I Guess That's Showbiz, Baby.

Four Years On.

Blonde Ambition.

Memory Lane.

It's Hard To Walk Away When You've Still Got An Ace To Play.

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