top of page

I Guess That's Showbiz, Baby.

calamansourjah

Updated: May 27, 2020

4am, or thereabouts.

I surreptitiously check my phone. The bright screen makes my eyes wince and squint in the darkened room. It’s 4:38, fuck, I need to get back to sleep. I have class in the morning. A class I’ll probably end up skipping, again. That’s become a bad habit since I’ve been sleeping here more, especially on a Wednesday night. My grades are suffering, typically, and yet I can hardly raise the energy to care.

I let out a sigh I didn’t realise I was holding in. I’m still half drunk and my head gently pulsates from the night before, every week the same, it’s painfully predictable. You could even say boring.

I settle back down into the sheets, phone face down under my pillow, and turn onto my side into the pale light that’s sneaking in through the corners of the blinds. I turn toward the boy that I repeatedly give everything up for.

I rake my eyes over his face, it’s relaxed, and the slow rise and fall of his chest tells me he’s asleep. I bet there’s not a single worry in his mind. His breathing is soft and with his charming features peaceful like this, I can almost pretend. Almost believe in him, in us, in this whole fucking mess.

I stare a moment too long. The slithers of moonlight give away a secret. Cheap glitter covers his face. I snap my eyes shut and squeeze them tight.

I wasn’t wearing any glitter tonight.

122 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Blonde Ambition.

I was in a vicious cycle. I’d weaned myself off of making myself throw up any morsel that passed my lips, but I had replaced it with not...

Memory Lane.

Like the first time that we met, Like the last time that we spoke. Your messy hair and piercing eyes, The love I can’t revoke. I catch...

The Mistake.

Look out at the river, Close my eyes. Breathe in deeply, Feel the guilt rise. Who could deny, The joyless laugh. The echo chamber Of a...

Comments


bottom of page